Another question asked of God by Lewis may cause some to think Lewis was mad at God. He asks the question on page twenty; “Oh God, God why did you take such trouble to force this creature out of its shell if it is now doomed to crawl back-to be sucked back into it?”
Lewis had been a bachelor for many more years than he had been married. And it appeared from other writings he was content. But when he fell in love with H. he experienced all the joys a good marriage can bring to two individuals. That joy is far greater than any bachelor could ever dream about.
He missed her greatly. He like others, including myself, asked if it would not be possible to just have the loved one back for one more moment. It is not unusual to even reach out in the middle of the night hoping they are there by your side just one more time.
Now he realized he was alone again but it would never be the same as before he was married.
A point that may be taken by some as a hatred for God, on Lewis’ part, is really nothing more than Lewis getting things off his chest. Many times he comes across in a very negative manner with some of his questions. On page forty-six he responds to that criticism in this manner; “You feel better for the moment.”
Every day can be different based on your emotions, physical well-being, and yes even the weather. On page forty-eight Lewis seems to be very down. He says; “What does it matter how this grief of mine evolves or what I do with it? What does it matter how I remember her or whether I remember her at all?”
Days and months after the death of a loved one brings a roller coaster ride of up hills and down hills. Fright and joy all mixed up in that one ride many have taken in this experience of life called grieving.
On pages fifty-one and fifty-two he speaks of his; “heart being lighter than it had been for many weeks,” mainly because he had gotten a good sound sleep and the day was even brighter looking.